The Thong’s Premature Swan Song

So the good people over at Cosmo have declared the thong officially ‘ova’. Why? Because according to sales figures other styles are becoming more popular, such as the boyshort. Oh, Cosmo, thank god you are around so that I may know when I need to clear out my drawers of passé ahem drawers and run off to buy other (oddly less sexy) under things! Don’t forget to send me the memo on black patent leather heels too okthxbai!!

Anyway, I find this ridiculous.

First off, let us be reminded that Cosmo is quite possible the least woman-positive publication out there. Some recent topics include…who am I kidding, all of their topics center around how to ‘please a man’, why your relationship is horrible or how to ‘fix’ yourself in order to get a relationship and, obviously, what to wear to snag said man in said fantasy relationship that you are trying to create. Add some unrealistic Photoshop and viola! Self-hate for a low cover price! It is almost embarrassing that I feel that I have to even write this, but women should wear whatever underwear they feel like wearing. Personally, with my build, the boyshort would be the *least* sexy look on me, I am 100% thongs all the way. They hide panty lines, they are actually not at all uncomfortable, and I have been a loyal wearer since before the days of ‘The Thong Song’, which was, admittedly, was so annoying that I briefly considered not wearing them anymore lol.

Regardless, I am always amazed about how wrong magazines like Cosmo get it when it comes to ‘what men find sexy’. Hint: sex; men find sex ‘sexy’ and, unless they have a specific fetish for specific types of clothing, couldn’t care less what type of underwear you are wearing. What man would seriously kick you out of bed for wearing thong. “Girlfriend; thongs are so 2001!!”. Don’t feel bad, that guy wasn’t into you anyway. That guy was into other guys otherwise why would he care about ‘emerging panty trends’?

Salon, in a the kind of hard-hitting journalistic work they are know for, went so far as to ask men what they thought of Cosmos’ thong swan song. Turns out they had little constructive to say. Furthermore, the article focuses on the ‘fantasy’ behind the thong. I am not getting it…I wear them primarily because I loath panty lines I secretly would desire to hand out thongs to woman I see on the street when I see them. They are far better than going commando and, yes, they are sexy, but, again, when I was dating, men really did not care. No, really. I dare you, go ask. You will get exactly the same sort of luke warm responses Salon did with a smattering of “yeah they’re hot!’ tossed in. And why are we supposed to be caring about what men think about what we wear closest to our own bodies and/or about what makes *us* feel sexy?

So, when are women going to be allowed to wear their dainties without being told what they ‘should’ be wearing and when are we allowed to wear them without the choice being chalked up to some off ‘pornification of society’ argument (thanks again to Salon for that one)? Leave me and my thongs alone, dammit!