The stereotypes are all there: leather-clad kitten with a whip, man-hating ball buster, domineering and emotionally withdrawing. So, what does it mean to not be these things and yet still be a ‘dominatrix’?
No one is born into this ‘lifestyle’. Certainly, quite a few people come to it at a very young age, especially those with strong fetishes and paraphilias, but considering the almost laughably large number of types of kinks wrapped up into the ‘BDSM/ kink’ community (everything from getting hit in the face with pies to ahem leather-clad kittens with whips) there certainly does seem to be an odd lack of role models. Don’t get me wrong, there are many amazing guides, introductions, skill teaching, fictional and non-fictional accounts etc etc of what it is like to be in the scene…not so much what it is to be like to just ‘be’. While I hardly view myself as the ‘great role model’ that all should emulate, I have found that in a world where we, as women, are supposed to be balancing femininity with sexuality, business savvy with nurturing psychologies, and while the “oh I simply must make sure to perfect my ‘feathered peacock pose’ while the non-fat, vegan, green and nutritious pie is finishes baking?” mentality slowly takes us over.
Crazy yet? Yeah, me too. Until I realized just how easy it was to oddly do so much of all of it while at the same time standing outside of that world and create my own goals. Shocking: actually learning to love myself, doubts and all, while also wanting to strive to be a better person. It’s self help 101 without all the passive aggressiveness! But I digress.
So, what can you expect to see on this page? Well, I can tell you now, not nearly so much sex tips and wank fodder as a review of how a ‘dominatrix’ views the world. So, nothing too earth shattering, no grand unifying theories about BDSM, domination and submission, or that ever present question someone like me gets asked all the time ‘how can I find a Mistress’?. Well, maybe some of that. But what I really wanted to show was just how normal all of this is. Really. And a subtle plea for it to be more social acceptable which is not the same thing as CSI’s ‘fetish of the season' episode being aired. Ugh. Yeah, and I am also not so sure that the Village People were the best ambassadors for gay Civil Rights either.
So, welcome to my ruminations. Yes, ‘your mileage may vary’. I hope that whoever stumbles on this is at least mildly entertained and maybe a little educated along the way. So, please, enjoy the POV of your friendly neighborhood Dominatrix.
No one is born into this ‘lifestyle’. Certainly, quite a few people come to it at a very young age, especially those with strong fetishes and paraphilias, but considering the almost laughably large number of types of kinks wrapped up into the ‘BDSM/ kink’ community (everything from getting hit in the face with pies to ahem leather-clad kittens with whips) there certainly does seem to be an odd lack of role models. Don’t get me wrong, there are many amazing guides, introductions, skill teaching, fictional and non-fictional accounts etc etc of what it is like to be in the scene…not so much what it is to be like to just ‘be’. While I hardly view myself as the ‘great role model’ that all should emulate, I have found that in a world where we, as women, are supposed to be balancing femininity with sexuality, business savvy with nurturing psychologies, and while the “oh I simply must make sure to perfect my ‘feathered peacock pose’ while the non-fat, vegan, green and nutritious pie is finishes baking?” mentality slowly takes us over.
Crazy yet? Yeah, me too. Until I realized just how easy it was to oddly do so much of all of it while at the same time standing outside of that world and create my own goals. Shocking: actually learning to love myself, doubts and all, while also wanting to strive to be a better person. It’s self help 101 without all the passive aggressiveness! But I digress.
So, what can you expect to see on this page? Well, I can tell you now, not nearly so much sex tips and wank fodder as a review of how a ‘dominatrix’ views the world. So, nothing too earth shattering, no grand unifying theories about BDSM, domination and submission, or that ever present question someone like me gets asked all the time ‘how can I find a Mistress’?. Well, maybe some of that. But what I really wanted to show was just how normal all of this is. Really. And a subtle plea for it to be more social acceptable which is not the same thing as CSI’s ‘fetish of the season' episode being aired. Ugh. Yeah, and I am also not so sure that the Village People were the best ambassadors for gay Civil Rights either.
So, welcome to my ruminations. Yes, ‘your mileage may vary’. I hope that whoever stumbles on this is at least mildly entertained and maybe a little educated along the way. So, please, enjoy the POV of your friendly neighborhood Dominatrix.
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